


Bees? Beads

by tuesdaymidnight



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Beads, Banter, Bucky Barnes likes teasing Tony, Humor, M/M, Mostly porn, Rimming, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:14:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6671809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesdaymidnight/pseuds/tuesdaymidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers team finds themselves cleaning up a mess in a sex shop and discover--much to their surprise--that Steve and Bucky are well-versed in sex toys. After buying a new toy at the shop, Steve and Bucky go home to try it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bees? Beads

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes what starts as a joke ends with me writing kind of filthy Bucky/Steve crack!fic porn. IDEK.
> 
> A huge thank you to [donnersun](http://archiveofourown.org/users/donnersun/) and [OnTheTurningAway](http://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheTurningAway/) for looking this over and for encouraging my insanity. 
> 
> Oh, and title courtesy of Gob Bluth. ;)

Why Dr. Strange’s army of mutant chickens set up headquarters in a sex shop was a question no one really wanted to ask Stephen.

When the last of the chickens were confined again, and after Clint had exhausted all the bad chicken puns, the team gravitated toward the place where it all started, only to discover Tony picking through the remains of the sex shop.

“Hey, Red, ever use one of these?”

Nat looked over at the strap-on harness with a giant red dildo that Tony was holding up. “Please, Stark. You know I’ll win this game of ‘Never Have I Ever’. Do you really want to start?”

“Yes,” Peter said. “Yes, I really, really do.”

“I think it’s past your bedtime,” Natasha said.

“You want to tuck me in?”

“Go home, Peter,” Tony, Clint, and Natasha all said in unison.

“Are you even old enough to be in here?” Dr. Strange’s voice came from the behind the counter.

“If I’m old enough to fight mutant chickens, I’m old enough to be in a sex shop.”

“You’ve got a point, kid,” Clint said.

“Well there’s something I never thought I’d see,” Tony said nodding his head toward where Thor and Steve were picking up fallen display racks and straightening movies with classy titles like “Ass Sluts from Outerspace” and “Barely Legal Anal.”

“Speaking of ‘Never Have I Ever’,” Natasha said with a smirk.

“Where’s my phone? I need a picture of this. Captain America in front of a wall of dildos.”

“Knock it off, Stark,” Steve said.

“I see you politely not looking at the movie covers. Don’t worry, those girls won’t know if you sneak a peek. This is their chosen profession. It might actually be more disrespectful not to look. Don’t want them to feel like you’re judging their life choices, you know.”

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky’s voice called out from somewhere in the corner. “Can I get a hand?”

“You got this?” Steve asked Thor.

“Go on, friend,” Thor said distractedly as he looked at the cover of "Bang Bus 7." “Maybe I’m not familiar with Midgardian slang. Is ‘bang’ not a term for penetration?”

“I think they penetrate _on_ the bus,” Clint said, looking over his shoulder.

“That looks more like a van than a bus,” Peter said.

“Go _home_ ,Underoos,” Tony said.

A triumphant noise came from the back area where Bucky had been righting more shelves. He and Steve reappeared in the main area of the shop with Steve carrying a package of anal beads.

“Say, where’d the owner go?” Bucky asked the room.

“Here,” a man called from the front display window where he was working with Maria trying to estimate the amount in damages.

“Do you know how much for the beads?” Steve asked. “I know your system’s down, but I have cash.”

“Uh,” Tony said, trying to get his jaw to work. “You do know those aren’t jewelry, right?”

“Actually,” Steve said to the clerk, ignoring Tony. “Are these the only ones you have? I was looking for something bigger.”

“Oh!” The clerk brightened at the thought of a sale. “Let me check in the back. I didn’t put out the latest shipment, and the chickens spared most of the backroom.”

Everyone--including Tony still--was staring slackjawed at Steve.

“Do ‘anal beads’ mean what I think they mean?” Thor asked.

“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, pal,” Bucky said. “And I don’t know Asgardian biology, but if you’ve never played with your ass, you are missing out.”

“I don’t know if Lady Jane would be…” Thor cut himself off mid-sentence. “Then again, the physics might appeal.”

Peter’s eyes were so wide they were bugging out almost like a real spider.

“Come on, Mr. Parker,” Dr. Strange finally said. “I need to go make sure I didn’t open up a wormhole in my lab. I’m going right by Forest Hills.”

There wasn’t suggestion in his voice so much as an order, so Peter reluctantly followed the sorcerer out of the sex shop.

“Bye!” Peter called out cheerfully, craning his neck to see what was happening as the clerk came back. Stephen grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and physically pulled him out of the store.  

The clerk was carrying three packages of anal beads and handed them all to Steve, who looked carefully at each set, finally holding one up to show Bucky.

“Will these do, Buck?”

Bucky took the package and started to inspect it. “Hypoallergenic silicone. Your bananas taste like shit, but 21st century sex toys are almost worth the decades in cryo. I mean, minus the brainwashing and killing. Remember having to use glass beads, babe?”

“God, they were always so cold.”

“Warmed up fast, though.”

“Oh god, remember the time Mrs. MacAuley was talking about her new pearl necklace to my ma, and we got in trouble for laughing during mass?”

“I don’t know what’s happening right now,” Tony said, his head whipping back and forth between Steve and Bucky. “Natasha, what’s happening right now?”

“Why does everyone always think you’re a prude, Stevie?” Bucky asked, ignoring Tony.

“I think because I always make eye contact with women.”

“Oh, burn,” Clint said.

“Women?” Bucky laughed. “Steven Grant, you never told them?”

“Never told us what?” Tony insisted.

“Buck--it’s really none of their business. You should see the kind of girls they try to set me up with. Their taste in men would be ten times worse.”

“Hey!” Natasha protested.

“Sharon tried to kill me, Tasha.”

“I wasn’t thinking of them setting you up,” Bucky said. “I was thinking about you getting pounded by the god of thunder over here.”

“He’s in a committed relationship.”

”So ’re you. That shouldn’t have stopped you from getting laid. Christ, Steve. I love you, and I appreciate the gesture, but--”

“It’s not the same. I tried sleeping around. It wasn’t--wasn’t the same.” He looked down at the ground as he spoke.

When he finished, he looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes, and the look they shared was so intense even Tony felt his cheeks start to warm. Clint looked up at the ceiling while Thor gazed fondly at the two men. Natasha looked carefully at each man, both oblivious to their audience. Their silent conversation was only broken when Bucky smirked.

“Well, people don’t take the time to appreciate the finer things anymore.” Bucky leaned back to leer at Steve, particularly Steve’s ass.

“I don’t know what’s happening anymore,” Tony said, sitting down on a sex swing with his head in his hands. “My dad talked about how watching Barnes and Rogers work together made him think Erskine’s serum made Captain Spangly telepathic. Did he know you were together? Don’t answer that I don’t want to know. I remember the time I found my dad’s porn stash and there was some gay stuff, which is fine, nothing wrong with that, but some of it was army-themed, and--no--no I don’t want to know. I mean, I’m curious--curiously aroused even, but--no--no--bad Tony.”

Bucky, ignoring Tony’s rambling, was righting a shelf of lubricants.

“Say, which kind of lube was it you liked?”

“Get the flavored kind,” Steve said. “I don’t want to listen to you bitch all night about it tasting worse than Vaseline.”

“Good call,” Bucky said, snatching up a few bottles before pulling out his wallet.

He looked around at everyone in the room staring at him--the expressions still ranged from shock (Tony) to eye-rolling (Natasha).

“Piña colada. I’m telling you, Stark. The 21st century is all right.”

 

8====D~

 

There were two things in the world that Bucky Barnes was good at. The first was sharpshooting. The second was worshipping Steve Roger’s ass until Steve was completely wrecked.

The key, really, was patience. Steve rushed headfirst into everything, never taking time to appreciate the experience. Just like he was in battle, he wanted to get in and out and move onto the next thing. He needed Bucky to hold him back, to let him slowly break down until he was writhing and moaning and begging Bucky to just let him come already.

It had been Bucky, though, who nearly dragged Steve out of the debrief room. Stark was looking at them half knowing and half scandalized. Nat was shaking her head fondly as she shot Bucky a wink. Clint was looking back and forth between them like he was trying to picture them naked--and not disliking what he saw.

But, finally-- _finally_ \--they were back at their place in Brooklyn. Bucky shoved Steve up against the door before he could even set down the shield. He crowded into Steve’s space, but he didn’t use his hands. He buried his nose in Steve’s neck and then slid it up to Steve’s ear, letting his breath ghost along the skin until Steve was shivering and shoving his hips forward.   

“Buck,” Steve groaned, grabbing Bucky’s ass with one hand, pulling him closer, and burying his other hand in the hair at Bucky’s neck.

“This is so much easier than that fucking jumpsuit,” Bucky murmured against Steve’s neck as he undid Steve’s belt and unzipped his pants enough to get his hand wrapped around Steve’s dick.

“Jesus, you’re already ready to go,” Bucky said as he dragged his thumb across the wet head of Steve’s cock.

“I’ve been ready to go since you showed me that vibrating cock ring. Why didn’t you buy that?”

“Wasn’t waterproof.”

“Why would that mat--no, you’re right. Good call.”

Bucky didn’t do anything more than hold Steve’s thick cock loosely in his hand, while Steve tried to push forward, desperate already for release.

“Bedroom,” Bucky said, taking a step back.

“But--” Steve whimpered at the sudden loss of contact.

“Take off that uniform and go lie facedown on the bed,” Bucky said sternly.

Steve only needed to see the expression on Bucky’s face, pupils blown, looking at him like he was about to be devoured, before he was scrambling out of his uniform and hurrying to the bedroom.

Bucky took a deep breath before grabbing the bag from the sex shop and slowly following Steve. It would be easy to just bend Steve over and fuck him hard and fast, getting them both off quickly, letting the adrenaline from the battle in the sex shop course through them. But that wasn’t what Steve needed, especially not after a fight. No, he needed to wind down, to get his mind quieted and reset, and Bucky took it as a personal responsibility to get Steve there.

Getting “Always Ready for a Fight” Steve to dial down the intensity was lesson one of Caring for Steve Rogers 101, and Bucky had been horrified at how no one else, none of his so-called friends--well, maybe Sam--seemed to notice what bad shape Steve was in, mentally. He was so tightly wound all the time, overwhelmed with guilt, and obviously pretending like he was okay, it was a wonder he was even functioning.

It was a good thing Bucky found him when he did.

When Bucky got to the bedroom, Steve was lying on his stomach in the middle of the bed with his legs spread, his arms wrapped around a pillow. His gorgeous ass was practically calling out to Bucky to worship.

“Look at you,” Bucky said, his voice nearly catching in his throat.

Steve looked back over his shoulder, “You gonna stand there all night and stare or are you gonna do something about it?”  

Bucky smirked and then stalked toward the bed. He kneeled in his favorite spot, right between Steve’s legs.

He ran his hands down Steve’s back--the contrasting sensation of cool metal and warm flesh drove Steve even more out of his mind. It took Steve a while to admit that he liked the feeling, to admit that the metal arm that turned Bucky into the Winter Soldier got him off.

Bucky called him out on his guilt. Sure, it was Hydra tech, but it had become an extension of his body like any other artificial limb. For Bucky, it was getting the red star off his shoulder that made the arm finally feel like his. It took Steve a while longer, not just to adjust to the arm, but to adjust to the fact that Bucky hadn’t been frozen, preserved, the way he had, that Bucky had a whole set of life experiences--horrifying to the extreme--that Steve hadn’t shared.

But he came around. He didn’t even hesitate anymore to pull the metal arm over his waist for Bucky to spoon him as they slept.

Steve was already whimpering under the spell of Bucky’s touch. It turned into a full volume moan when he finally pushed Steve’s cheeks apart. Then it was Bucky’s turn to whimper.  

“You waxed? Steven Grant Rogers did you actually pay someone to put hot wax on your ass crack?”

“Well, Tasha thought I’d enjoy a pedicure, which was actually really relaxing, you should try it, but then they started offering to thread my eyebrows and wax my chest and--”

“They probably just wanted to get you naked. There are probably dick pics on the internet now, you realize.”

Steve made a noncommittal noise. “Well, I’ve been told I have a perfect dick.”

“I don’t know who told you that. That doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”

“Well, your mouth was full of it at the time.”

That got Steve a playful smack on his ass. Like a reflex, Steve pushed his ass up seeking more, which made Bucky chuckle.

“Mmm....not today. You haven’t earned it.”

“Buck,” Steve whined.

“All right, all right,” Bucky said, grabbing the new bottle of lube.

He let a few drops rolled down Steve’s crack before he traced them down with his thumb, just barely touching Steve’s hole.  

Flavored lube had been a good suggestion, because Bucky Barnes could never stand to look at Steve Rogers and not taste. He bent forward and spread open Steve’s cheeks with his hands. He licked up once slowly, savoring the moan that came from the head of the bed.

“Don’t put your face in the pillow. I want to hear you.”  

Bucky ran his tongue flatly across Steve’s hole a few more times before circling it around the rim, using pressure like he was trying to push into Steve’s heat. Steve was so responsive, letting out a string of curses and “oh god, Bucky, so good,” that Bucky lost track of finesse, burying his face in between Steve’s cheeks, licking and sucking all around Steve’s hole, feeling it twitch in response as Steve clenched.

Steve started squirming so much that Bucky had to hold him down firmly in place with his left arm, which was whirring under the strain.

“Let me--” Steve panted. “Buck you’ve gotta let me.”

“Not yet. You need me to slow down?”

“No, fuck. Don’t slow down. You fucking tease.”  

Steve knew, he _knew_ , that the sure way to _not_ get Bucky to stop teasing was to call him a tease. And sure enough Bucky pulled back, licking slowly again with the flat of his tongue.

“I hate you,” Steve groaned.

“Liar,” Bucky said. “But just because I _know_ you love me, I’m going to let you try out our new toy first.”

“Fuck, you have me so sex stupid I almost forgot about the beads.”

Bucky laughed as he grabbed the string of beads that started small and gradually got bigger. The last bead was about as big around as Bucky’s cock, so Bucky knew Steve could take it.   

He took the beads and ran them down Steve’s back, letting Steve feel what would be going inside him. He dragged them through the lube and spit collecting around Steve’s hole.  

“You want the full string?” Bucky asked.

Steve squirmed in response, pushing his ass back, reaching a hand around to try to spread himself open.

“That’s not an answer,” Bucky said as he tried not to laugh at Steve’s eagerness.

Steve Rogers had been the pushiest bottom in Brooklyn in the '40s and obviously had reclaimed his title. And Bucky could never resist when Steve finally asked for what he needed.

Bucky fed the beads slowly into Steve’s hole, starting with the smallest, which slid in easy. Steve’s hole pulled them in like that’s what his body was made for. It made Bucky crazy; Steve looked so good, so needy.

“Fuck, your hole looks so pretty like this. I want to take a picture. Hand me your phone.”

“I’m not letting you take a picture of my asshole.”

“Hey, my ‘Buns of America’ shot got almost 4 million likes on Instagram and started a hashtag. And that was just in your uniform.”

“Thanks for that by the way. Do you know how many times I’ve had to sign a picture of my own ass?”

“What’s that, you want more?” Bucky said, ignoring Steve as he pushed the next two beads into his ass.

“Yes,” Steve hissed as Bucky pushed the rest of the string slowly inside.

Steve’s breath was getting heavy as Bucky twisted the beads inside him. He was full; the biggest bead was pushing on his prostate, and Bucky knew it. Bucky pushed forward and then twisted and pulled the last bead almost all the way out, stretching Steve’s hole and making him cry out.

Bucky fucked Steve with the toy, watching Steve shake and come apart until he was rutting shamelessly against the mattress and clawing at the sheets, ripping the 400 thread count Egyptian cotton like it was tissue paper.

“Bucky please. Please. Fuck. I need--you’ve gotta.”

“You want to come, darlin’?” Bucky asked as he wiggled the string of beads again.

“Yes. Fuck you. Yes,” Steve panted.

“Well why didn’t you just say so?”

Bucky reached around Steve, who pushed his ass up in the air immediately to give Bucky room to wrap his hand around Steve’s cock. Bucky squeezed and started jerking Steve off, making Steve groan in relief.

“Bucky--Bucky--I’m gonna--fuck.” Steve’s whole body was tensing, right on the brink of release.

Bucky pulled the string of beads slowly and steadily, watching Steve convulse as each bead came out, rubbing against Steve’s rim. When he was on the last bead, he tightened his grip around Steve’s cock, twisting his wrist, and then Steve was coming hard, shaking so much the bed frame rattled against the wall like they were having an earthquake.

Bucky loosened his grip around Steve’s cock as he watched Steve’s body shudder, until he finally shivered out of Bucky’s hand and collapsed bonelessly in his own come, looking absolutely sated.

“D’ya want me t--?” Steve started to ask.

“Nah, just lie there and look pretty, Stevie,” Bucky said, not hiding the fondness in voice.

“Fuck off,” Steve muttered.

“What do you think I’m trying to do here?”

Having ignored his own cock for so long, Bucky was efficient, and it didn’t take him long before he was coming all over Steve’s used ass.

“Gross,” Steve said.

“Says the man lying in the wet spot,” Bucky said.

“It’ll dry. Come ‘ere.”

Steve rolled over onto his back, spreading his arms so Bucky could curl against his side. Steve leaned over and kissed Bucky.

“Huh. That _does_ taste like a piña colada.”

“It’s not bad. Hey, give me your phone,” Bucky said.

“No dick pics,” Steve said, but he complied, fumbling around the bedside table for his phone. “And where’s your phone?”

“Kitchen? I don’t know. I just want to send Stark a post-sex selfie. Waist up, I promise. Wouldn’t want to scandalize the kid.”

Steve laughed as he handed Bucky his phone, and then pulled Bucky back down against his chest.

“Pose okay, Ansel Adams?” Steve asked.

“Shut up and smile,” Bucky replied, holding the phone above them and taking the picture.

He showed Steve the photo before sending it to Tony with the word “beads” and the thumbs up emoji.

“He’ll probably be more shocked you know how to use emojis,” Steve said.

“Nah, I replied to every text he sent me with a the poop emoji the first three months he had my number.”

Steve laughed. “Sometimes I don’t know which you like more, the sex or fucking with everybody who thinks we’re senile old men.”

Bucky pretended to consider it for a second before laughing, “Definitely the sex.”

“Good answer,” Steve replied rolling Bucky onto his back and kissing him until he dropped the phone.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://tuesdaymidnight.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/tuesdaymidnight) so we can cry about Sebastian Stan together.


End file.
